Someone from Rogers replied to me on the weekend, a lengthy email full of nothing and yet rife with typos and continuing to miss the point entirely.

To sum it up:

Blah blah Facebook blah blah Twitter blah blah not the right forum blah blah blah. Name, postal code, birthdate?

and of course:

I understand your frustration, Oh Valued Customer. Call me!

It’s almost like they are TRYING to be useless. My latest reply:

You have suggested that I need to send my concerns to you in an email format. Unless it is so extremely well hidden that I could not locate it, there is no email address provided on your site as a means to contact Rogers. The story of my customer service experience with Rogers is a long one (and I wish it were not so) so I had a long comment to make. Given that you have forced me into such a long story and given your site completely and inelegantly prevented me from submitting a long comment AND given that I had no email address to contact you, the best I could do at the time was to type up my comments externally and forward the link to you.

You have stated that using forums such as websites and social media sites are not the correct way to have complaints addressed. You seem to be missing the point that in the absence of giving your clients a forum on which to submit their (sometimes long) complaints, they will take their voices somewhere they will be heard – if not by you, by hundreds of other people. Instead of having one person (me) aware of your ridiculous customer service, hundreds of people are now aware of it. If that is the face you wish to put on your business in the age of social media, so be it.

In any event. Once again, for about the 15th time, here are my relevant details:

Postal code: XXX XXX
Cell number: XXX-XXX-XXX
Date of birth: XX/XX/XXXX
Account number: XXXXXXXX
e-care order number: XXXXXX

My email address, phone number and e-care order number were provided with my original comment. I do not have a pin number.

I am not sure why you would make reference to contacting Pay As You Go customer support. I am not, and never have been, a Pay As You Go customer. I have never mentioned that in any of my contact with you – the only reference to Pay As You Go is in my blog post, which, according to you, you are unable to read.

I would rather eat glass than attempt to make my way through the minefield you call your customer service department. The last time I called I was cut off (repeatedly), transferred to about seven different people AND ended the call after 45 minutes no closer to a resolution that I was when I began the call.

Which is kind of the point.

Please do not thank me for my patience, and do not tell me I am a valued customer. Valued customers would not be asked to be as patient as you have FORCED me to be. If you valued your customers you would not have them experience such extreme frustration every time they contact you. From the first time I called Rogers, every contact has been an exercise in frustration. I have been given conflicting information, cut off, passed around and mislead.

If I were a valued customer, you would have returned the money you owe me in a timely fashion. If I was a valued customer you would have attempted to resolve my issue in one short phone call, rather than make me spend literally hours trying to resolve this.

I will only believe I am a valued customer if you immediately return my money, provide me with an explanation as to why you have held this money for so long AND explain to be why I have had to go to such lengths to have this issue resolved. At this point simply returning the money is not enough.

Thank you. My original comment appears below.

…..

Lather, rinse, repeat…SIGH.

Hmmm! I thought. Well! Maybe that worked. All right. Let’s go.

“Hi there”, she said. “Could I get your name, postal code and date of birth?”

“Certainly!” I said

It was Accounts Receivable. RECEIVABLE. They are threatening to cut me off unless I pay them the money I owe them.

Yes, that’s right. Rogers will call you when you owe them money, but they won’t call you if they owe you money.

“This invoice is for services beginning August 21” she said. “Hey”, I said, “guess what day I submitted my invoice by cancelling my order? August 21.”

It seems Rogers themselves believe it is unacceptable for an amount payable to remain outstanding this long.

Interesting, don’t you think?

This is in relation to e-care order #XXXXXXXXX.

Since your system won’t let me post a long comment, please see this blog post, which I have also posted on Facebook and Twitter.

Thanks!

www.purplelara.com/2009/09/17/iphone-love-rogers-loathe/

Today I received the following email from Rogers:

Thank you for taking the time to write to us, we appreciate your use of online customer service. In your recent email, you have informed us that you have left comments on Face book [sic] and Twitter.

Unfortunately, we are not allowed to visit Face book [sic] and Twitter while we are at work. We would kindly advise you to reply to this email if you are having problems with our company.

This is my reply:

Thank you for your email. Yesterday when I used your Contact Us system I found it did not allow me to post a lengthy comment, and I had a lengthy tale to tell about the problems (plural) I have had with Rogers Wireless’ customer service.

I provided you a link to my blog, which is neither Facebook nor Twitter, and noted that I had ALSO posted the information to Facebook and Twitter.

Unsurprisingly, you seem to have missed the link entirely and missed a crucial word in my original message. That word is “also”. Here is the non-Facebook non-Twitter link again:

www.purplelara.com

At that link you will find a post called “iPhone = Love / Rogers = Loathe” which fully details my experience with your company.

The reference to Facebook and Twitter were simply to alert you to the fact that I am letting my friends and followers on Facebook and Twitter know about my experience with Rogers Wireless. I’ll be updating my site now with this further example of the wonderful customer service experience Rogers offers.

By the way, you may wish to let your web team know that it is extremely un-user friendly (and an example of bad design, bad coding and bad testing) to have your system completely bomb when a user submits a comment over the allowable length. The end result for your users (clients) is a complete loss of their (obviously long) comment, which is likely to frustrate them further. Some other options you may wish to consider are limiting the user from imputing characters over the limit in the first place, or providing a message which reads something along the lines of “Field is limited to XXX characters. Please edit your comments and re-submit” rather than allowing the overflow input and then bombing when the user attempts to submit the comment. Some routine testing could have found this defect.

Thanks for your time.

Keep up the good work guys.

HAHAHA.

The journey to Lose My Shitsville began on August 17, 2009 when I called Rogers to inquire about ordering an iPhone and switching my service from Telus to Rogers. I was told there were no phones in stock, but if the Rogers e-care system showed a phone in stock, I should “grab it”. I checked, found an iPhone and placed the order online that day. I dutifully noted the order number JUST IN CASE I might need it (THANK GOD).

The charge of $110.88 was put through on my Visa. Immediately.

On Friday, August 21 I called Rogers to check the status of the order. I was told the phone was back-ordered – which their system had NOT indicated at the time of the transaction, so hmmm, thanks for letting me know. Contrary to what the original rep had told me, she said I’d be better off to call around to Rogers stores to locate a phone and cancel the e-care order, which I did. I was told the refund should appear on my Visa within a week.

I found an iPhone at a retailer, signed up for a three year contract and paid $168 for a slightly different iPhone. That evening I spent over an hour on the phone attempting to activate my phone number switch from Telus to Rogers, as the person who cancelled the order apparently didn’t cancel the “port” request. My phone number was still tied to the e-care order and couldn’t be released from that order, because that order wasn’t tied to my (less than two hours old) account. Trying to get someone to understand I was NOW a customer but was NOT a customer when the original port request was made was akin to teaching a three year old a second language. A retarded three year old. LATIN.

After being passed around to three or four different people, I latched on to a customer service rep back east from completely the wrong department, but who, upon hearing the frustration in my voice, fixed me up. I think I told him I loved him.

At this point I estimate I had spent about an hour and a half on the phone with Rogers attempting to become a new customer and have my phone activated. But it was OK – after all, I had an iPhone! I had never experienced a love like this. I didn’t know it existed. Oh iPhone, I <3 you even more than the Rogers guy who made you come alive for me.

My iPhone and I had been taking long walks on the beach, holding hands and snuggling for a week or so when I realized the refund had not appeared on my Visa bill.

I called Rogers to inquire about the status. I called from a land line and for some reason their phone system assumed my land line number was a Pay As You Go number and I was passed around several times before reaching the right department. At that point, I was told that the cancellation request had not even been processed until August 25 (four days after I requested it) and that the refund could take 5 – 15 days to appear on my credit card.

I had now spent over two hours on the phone with Rogers, and estimate I had spoken to no less than five people. I had been a Rogers Wireless customer for less than two weeks.

At this point I was a bit annoyed, because if I’d known how long it would take to receive the refund, I may have waited before putting the second charge through. But, it was what it was. I expected the credit to appear any day.

Today, September 17, 2009, exactly one month after I began this crap fuelled journey, I checked my Visa statement and the credit had still not appeared. And thus began one of the most frustrating customer service calls I have ever experienced.

Wary of re-living the land line/Pay As You Go confusion of the last call, I called *611 on my cell phone at 8:19 am and gave my name, birth date and postal code to the first of many people. The first person could not help me and attempted to transfer me to another representative. Either the transfer failed or my reception failed (either way – way to go, Rogers) and the call terminated.

Call #2 began at 8:24 am. I reached another representative who advised me they couldn’t help me (after taking my name, birth date and postal code) and attempted to pass me through to another department. Transfer Fail #2.

Call #3. 8:28 am. I have blacked out the memory of exactly how many times I was transferred during this call, but a good guess would be that I spoke to about seven people in total. All of whom asked for my name, birth date and postal code and none of whom could find my order information, even with the order number.

When I told the second to last person I spoke to that I hoped she would be the last person I’d have to give my name, birth date and postal code to and she said “I’m sorry, I’ll have to pass you through to e-care”, I arrived at my destination. I officially Lost.My.Shit. I had already spoken to e-care. Several times. Many times. “DO NOT TRANSFER ME” I said. “I AM AFRAID OF THE TRANSFER! THE TRANSFER FAILS!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.”

So instead I was placed on Terrifying Hold – and sat there for many, many long minutes, with steam coming out my ears, praying I wouldn’t get cut off AGAIN. Hoping, irrationally hoping, the next person would be able to help. At this point I’d been on the phone with them for over 45 minutes and had yet to speak to anyone who could even LOCATE the order, let alone assist me in understanding why I had not yet received my credit.

The last person I spoke to gave me some fabulous news. She could see the order. PROGRESS.

Aaaand, she had no idea why the charge hadn’t been reversed. There is no way it should take this long, she said. I apologize for your frustration, she said.

Thanks a lot, I said.

The fact that it took over 45 minutes to reach someone who could only tell me they can’t help is unacceptable. The fact that they have been hanging on to my money for four weeks is unacceptable. The charges for both iPhones were processed on my Visa within a day. The refund has yet to appear, four weeks later. Unacceptable.

I have been a Rogers customer for less than a month. I have paid for not one, but two phones and I have spent over three hours on the phone with them.

FAIL, Rogers, FAIL.

++++++++++++++++++++++++

OH GOD IT GETS BETTER. I just attempted to email a much shorter version of the above to Rogers through their website. When I clicked to submit my comment, I got this:

Internal Server failure, APACHE plugin. Cannot continue.

Nice work folks.