iPhone = Love / Rogers = Loathe

I had been a Telus Mobility customer for over 15 years but recently decided I HAD TO HAVE an iPhone which meant I HAD TO SWITCH to Rogers Wireless. I’d heard some bad things about their customer service but I figured “Hey, I pay my bills on time; the iPhone has a great reputation for reliability, why would I need to be in contact with their customer service folks? What could go wrong?”

HAHAHA.

The journey to Lose My Shitsville began on August 17, 2009 when I called Rogers to inquire about ordering an iPhone and switching my service from Telus to Rogers. I was told there were no phones in stock, but if the Rogers e-care system showed a phone in stock, I should “grab it”. I checked, found an iPhone and placed the order online that day. I dutifully noted the order number JUST IN CASE I might need it (THANK GOD).

The charge of $110.88 was put through on my Visa. Immediately.

On Friday, August 21 I called Rogers to check the status of the order. I was told the phone was back-ordered – which their system had NOT indicated at the time of the transaction, so hmmm, thanks for letting me know. Contrary to what the original rep had told me, she said I’d be better off to call around to Rogers stores to locate a phone and cancel the e-care order, which I did. I was told the refund should appear on my Visa within a week.

I found an iPhone at a retailer, signed up for a three year contract and paid $168 for a slightly different iPhone. That evening I spent over an hour on the phone attempting to activate my phone number switch from Telus to Rogers, as the person who cancelled the order apparently didn’t cancel the “port” request. My phone number was still tied to the e-care order and couldn’t be released from that order, because that order wasn’t tied to my (less than two hours old) account. Trying to get someone to understand I was NOW a customer but was NOT a customer when the original port request was made was akin to teaching a three year old a second language. A retarded three year old. LATIN.

After being passed around to three or four different people, I latched on to a customer service rep back east from completely the wrong department, but who, upon hearing the frustration in my voice, fixed me up. I think I told him I loved him.

At this point I estimate I had spent about an hour and a half on the phone with Rogers attempting to become a new customer and have my phone activated. But it was OK – after all, I had an iPhone! I had never experienced a love like this. I didn’t know it existed. Oh iPhone, I <3 you even more than the Rogers guy who made you come alive for me.

My iPhone and I had been taking long walks on the beach, holding hands and snuggling for a week or so when I realized the refund had not appeared on my Visa bill.

I called Rogers to inquire about the status. I called from a land line and for some reason their phone system assumed my land line number was a Pay As You Go number and I was passed around several times before reaching the right department. At that point, I was told that the cancellation request had not even been processed until August 25 (four days after I requested it) and that the refund could take 5 – 15 days to appear on my credit card.

I had now spent over two hours on the phone with Rogers, and estimate I had spoken to no less than five people. I had been a Rogers Wireless customer for less than two weeks.

At this point I was a bit annoyed, because if I’d known how long it would take to receive the refund, I may have waited before putting the second charge through. But, it was what it was. I expected the credit to appear any day.

Today, September 17, 2009, exactly one month after I began this crap fuelled journey, I checked my Visa statement and the credit had still not appeared. And thus began one of the most frustrating customer service calls I have ever experienced.

Wary of re-living the land line/Pay As You Go confusion of the last call, I called *611 on my cell phone at 8:19 am and gave my name, birth date and postal code to the first of many people. The first person could not help me and attempted to transfer me to another representative. Either the transfer failed or my reception failed (either way – way to go, Rogers) and the call terminated.

Call #2 began at 8:24 am. I reached another representative who advised me they couldn’t help me (after taking my name, birth date and postal code) and attempted to pass me through to another department. Transfer Fail #2.

Call #3. 8:28 am. I have blacked out the memory of exactly how many times I was transferred during this call, but a good guess would be that I spoke to about seven people in total. All of whom asked for my name, birth date and postal code and none of whom could find my order information, even with the order number.

When I told the second to last person I spoke to that I hoped she would be the last person I’d have to give my name, birth date and postal code to and she said “I’m sorry, I’ll have to pass you through to e-care”, I arrived at my destination. I officially Lost.My.Shit. I had already spoken to e-care. Several times. Many times. “DO NOT TRANSFER ME” I said. “I AM AFRAID OF THE TRANSFER! THE TRANSFER FAILS!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.”

So instead I was placed on Terrifying Hold – and sat there for many, many long minutes, with steam coming out my ears, praying I wouldn’t get cut off AGAIN. Hoping, irrationally hoping, the next person would be able to help. At this point I’d been on the phone with them for over 45 minutes and had yet to speak to anyone who could even LOCATE the order, let alone assist me in understanding why I had not yet received my credit.

The last person I spoke to gave me some fabulous news. She could see the order. PROGRESS.

Aaaand, she had no idea why the charge hadn’t been reversed. There is no way it should take this long, she said. I apologize for your frustration, she said.

Thanks a lot, I said.

The fact that it took over 45 minutes to reach someone who could only tell me they can’t help is unacceptable. The fact that they have been hanging on to my money for four weeks is unacceptable. The charges for both iPhones were processed on my Visa within a day. The refund has yet to appear, four weeks later. Unacceptable.

I have been a Rogers customer for less than a month. I have paid for not one, but two phones and I have spent over three hours on the phone with them.

FAIL, Rogers, FAIL.

++++++++++++++++++++++++

OH GOD IT GETS BETTER. I just attempted to email a much shorter version of the above to Rogers through their website. When I clicked to submit my comment, I got this:

Internal Server failure, APACHE plugin. Cannot continue.

Nice work folks.